Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Beer 30 Light

Tonight I'm writing about Beer 30 Light at the request of my good friend Brett, seen below with his girlfriend Carlee dressed as cave people and pummeling me with clubs. I sort of felt like someone pummeled me in the stomach after drinking Beer 30 Light.

Now you all know I'm not a beer snob. Just the fact that I write a blog about cheap beer and once drank 24 beers that were likely more chemical run-off from a Chinese coal plant than actual beer should tell you that. However, I'm not a fan of Beer 30. It has a slight caramel flavor which tastes kind of like someone put a half melted Rollo in a Coors Light. Now, like Communism, this sounds like a good idea in theory but in this case, the Rollo was sitting in a fat guy's back pocket for two days and the Coors Light was sitting open for a week in a fridge that was on its warmest setting. That being said, the initial taste lasts for about a second and then...nothing. It basically tastes like water and there's a slightly metallic aftertaste. It costs about $3.99 a 6 pack (it used to be cheaper) and it's 4% alcohol so I guess it's got that going for it.

As far as the can goes, I'm pretty meh about it. I guess the name is supposed to be some sort of clever play on, "it's always 5pm somewhere" or "it's Beer O'Clock". Pretty cutesy...and lame. Kind of reminds me of this exchange from Fight Club:

Narrator: Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving...
Tyler Durden: Oh I get it, it's very clever.
Narrator: Thank you.
Tyler Durden: How's that working out for you?
Narrator: What?
Tyler Durden: Being clever.
Narrator: Great.
Tyler Durden: Keep it up then... Right up.

There isn't anything inspiring about the rest of the can. Just a generic logo with some mountains in the background. This beer was brewed in Cincinnati, OH so I have no clue why there are mountains on the can. If they really wanted to capture the essence of Cincinnati they should've had the silhouette of a Bengals player in handcuffs or Marge Schott goose stepping and giving a Sieg Heil.

In summation, Beer 30 Light isn't an overly offensive tasting beer, but I can't even call it mediocre. I'm going with 1.5 Bundy Faces.

The can sucks so much it doesn't even rate a Kelly Bundy. This one gets a bathrobed Marcy D'Arcy and it's lucky to get that

Spend your $3.99 on a bunch of Big League Chew or see if your local Best Buy has The Garbage Pail Kids movie or one of the Police Academy sequels on special instead of buying Beer 30 Light. You'll be happier.

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